Keith (Tourettes now F*** Off) Girling is a TW*T

Keith “Tourettes now F*** Off” Girling as he is now known in County Hell turns out is really a delicate flower (TW*T).

So much so we have now been told via a high level tory leak that the porcine TW*T allegedly had a formal caution placed on a member of county hell staff’s record for swearing in front of him (TW*T) recently. We are told although the person apologised this was not good enough for our Keith (TW*T), and formal disciplinary action had to be taken.

Perhaps this just another example of Tory double standards or maybe Keith (Tourettes now F*** Off) Girling is just an overweight TW*T.

Sorry for any offence Keith only joking

And by the way that is "TWIT"!

Only Joking,

No offence intended.

:) LOL

Happy Christmas to all at Church Lane Cotgrave

All in the Highways Dept at Notts county Council would like to wish a Happy Christmas to all who live in Church Lane Cotgrave.

We hope you all liked your early present, especially Cllr Butler.

Man Walks Into a Bar OUCH

All is not happy in Tory ranks so the County Councillor for Newark West, (Keith "Porcine" Girling) has been doing his bit to cheer them up via facebook.

Cuddly Keith was one of the Tory funsters who happily voted through cuts to Special Educational funding and of course, reductions in grant aid to numerous organisations throughout the County, who deal with people who have special needs.

In a show of sympathy, he made this comedic posting on his Facebook wall: (click on the pic to enlarge).

"I don't normally put swear words up on here but this did make me laugh......I parked in a disabled space today and a traffic warden shouted.........."Oi, what's your disability?"I said, "Tourettes! Now fuck off."

This was much to the amusement of his friends, with many LOLs and comments about people who suffer from various ticks.

Cllr Girling's attempt to play the King of Comedy doesn't do much for his credentials as a County Councillor, who pledge to respect and represent people regardless of any disabilities.

Perhaps this attitude shows us why he's happy to vote for cuts to services for the disabled. If Keith knew which of his Tory facebook chums had leaked this he may start to deveop some ticks himself.

From our own correspondent

Kay Cutts looked like she was going to explode today in full Council:

A Beeston member asked her about the transfer of some land for the tram to the City Council. Evidently her second hand car salesman transport portfolio holder won't sell it so the City Council are getting a compulsory purchase order - a long, expensive drawn out business. I'll now quote a witness:

"The member asked her a straightforward question about the transfer of the land to which she replied rather curtly that a compulsory land transfer arrangement, not purchase was under way and her colour slowly changed from Vogon green to a lighter shade of red. The member then asked how she squared this with her promise not to obstruct the tram and that it may cost her friends in the City Council over £200,000 to get the compulsory order, how could she justify that waste of public money during these difficult times? Her complexion then went through the various stages of red to glowing traffic light, we all thought she was about to burst. She finally just stuttered out something about them not selling voluntarily before sitting down, looking rather embarrassed. We then realised why - sitting directly behind her was a glowering Leader of the City Council; Jon Collins."

Paying for your own office

The Conservative administration has just thought of another way to save money. Making people pay for their own office space. After all they argue jobs are now so difficult to find and it is very benovolent of us to give you a job so we shall jolly well make you pay for it.

Alternatively you can work from home and pay your own heating, lighting and other expenses. Just to show that they care (about Rushcliffe) they'll start off by shutting all the offices which are on the wrong side of the Trent. So it's good by to most if not all Mansfield offices; Broxtowe, Retford and Mansfield touchdowns, Mercury House Annesley, Chancery Lane Retford and anywhere else they can think of where dirty miners once worked or there are unfriendly councillors.

Of course County Hall will be preserved and probably expanded which just goes to show there's no place like the south.

Disabled to suffer under the Vogon

A document leaked to me informs the local district councils that they will no longer receive top up grants from the County Council for Disabled Facilities Awards.

As Maggie Thatcher once said - "this gives people a greater incentive to do something to help their position".

On the planet Vogon wheelchair bound beings can grow back legs and arms. Only the lazy desist.

Sneinton Lil's Land Grab

Sneinton Lil as the Vogon is affectionately known in some quarters is rumoured to be looking forward to her next personal land grab.

If you invest in farm land or woodlands after two years it becomes immune form inheritance tax (seven years for every one else) and investment in some woodland carries a 30% tax rebate every year on the sum invested to offset against other income. These are well known tax dodges of the rich and famous and finance industry bonus junkies, as well as country landowners. However often it is a shortage of supply of land at the right price that makes such tax avoidance techniques difficult.

How nice then that Mr Cameron is now flogging off all our forests to his mates like Sneinton Lil. This increases supply of land to help them avoid having to pay the extra tax he claims they are having to pay, while he kicks 80000 families on the street by withdrawing their support. It is estimated there are 100,000 homeless kids in the UK with more to come.

Sneinton Lil is said to have her eye on the whole of Sherwood Forrest and wants to move into the great oak, so she can continue her inverse robin hood act and gain her revenge, after hundreds of years, on that terrible bow and arrow commie.

Vogon Live or selective deafness

The Vogon in another nauseating performance on TV referred once again to the Big Conversation saying she had consulted the people of Nottinghamshire through The Big Conversation and cuts were being made where the people of Nottinghamshire had indicated they wanted to see them.

So just how Big is the The Big Conversation. We have been told that in a very recent assessment of the survey 800 responses to the big conversation had been received. This is out of about 750,000 residents of Nottinghamshire representing a percentage return of 0.1% of the population!

Further analysis of the survey showed a significant proportion of these returns were received from Rushcliffe (they are known to speak Vogon).

The Vogon continues to use this "Conversation" as an example of the will of the people of Nottinghamshire. This has been described by senior officers in Private as nothing short of scandalous and an abuse of democracy.

Coun Cutts hides behind a flimsy 0.1% of the population of Nottinghamshire to justify the dismemberment of our services for dogmatic reasons, with a majority of two on the council based on a few hundred votes either way in marginal seats.

Double Accounting for Cutts

It has been pointed out to us that team Vogon have justified cutting the welfare rights service (completely) by saying that people can gain advice elsewhere, and then separately justify cutting the grant funding to all the Notts CABs by saying that people can instead gain advice from you guessed it WELFARE RIGHTS.

As someone pointed out if you want to save money on benefit you don't want to help people claim more of it do you.

Smiling forbidden

I am sure that is no coincidence that the picture of the Chief Exec on his electronic newsletters has been changed. It used to be a smiling Mick Burrows addressing the staff who were on the whole happy to work for the benefit of the residents of Nottinghamshire. By direction from the top that has been changed and a very down-beat image now appears.

After all Cutts are no laughing matter. (Unless of course you have one of the three new cabinet positions with enhanced expenses).

New Slogan for the Vogon

Nottingham has the wonky N and the county removed one of the nuts from the logo at significant expense. The rumour doing the rounds at the moment is the Vogon has now paid a fortune for a new slogan to go with the re-branding, well we have one for Free.

"Nottinghamshire County Council - Putting the N in Cutts"

5p per building plot sale now on

Yes that's right you could have a prime building plot in Toton for just 5p. Not even the nearby Lidl store can compete with this generosity!

Some 8 years ago a developer applied for permission to build a large estate in Toton. The local MP and the Council insisted that thought be given to also building a school as the two local junior schools were full to bursting. Planning permission was granted and the land set aside, with a sum of money to build the school. Understandably the last County Council wanted to wait until the homes were sold and the young couples moving in actually bred before committing to build the school so a 5 year period was allowed from the first house being occupied to the school building being started. However, it was written into the permission that if the school was not built then the developer could buy the land back for £1 and build 20 more houses. That 5 year period is up early next year, the local schools are so full that children have to be bussed up to 5 miles to other schools but the County will not build.

Could it be because they have spent their budget propping up Danecourt school with falling roles, a debt of £1.1m and a Vogon as governor? Or is there a more sinister reason why a developer should gain a piece of land worth millions for just £1?

Let them Eat Cake

I have received a report from a local school teacher in one of the more deprived areas of the county who was doing an exercise on healthy eating with her class of 8 years olds. They were asked to draw a picture of what they had for dinner last night.

One girl was not drawing, and when asked why she said, I did not have any dinner my mum was out and no one gave me anything. While you have to blame the parent, this poor kids only proper dinner is her free school meal.

The very meals that Cutts and Co say don't matter, are not needed and a waste of tax payer money. These are said to be next on the local Tory hit list with Cutts doing the dirty work for Eaton educated Gove and Cameron and their poodle democrat mate Clegg, in their Multi-millionaire public school educated government, who know nothing or care nothing of kids like this poor girl.

When I'm Cleaning Windows

Quite unsterdandably a lot of people are planning their exit strategy from County Hell. The latest count is over 2000, which will be the people now best serving the County and naturally we wish them well for the future. Several are sounding out other employers and looking for new careers.

However, the public have started to speak and as the election result in Worksop clearly shows the days of Vogon rule are limited; we only need 2 more bye-elections.

At least one County Councillor, Eric Kerry has his escape route planned and is practising his new-found skills. As the picture above shows, Beeston will soon have another busker on the streets.

Popularity Poll

I don't think I need elaborate further on this week's election result in the "Quidsins" Quigley's back yard:

County - Worksop West 2010

Coleman (Ind) 13
Dawes (Ind) 56
Duveen (Lib Dem) 88 (!)
Greaves (Lab) 1457
Thorpe (Con) 755

Compare this to County - Worksop West 2009

Bennett (Con) 1403
Hunter (Lib Dem) 449
Potts (Lab) 909

Et Tu Brute?

Perhaps Kay Cutts had better rehearse Julius Caesar’s dying words as Brutus stuck the knife in.

Her latest right hand man Cllr Eric Kerry who handed over £5,000 to Cutts saved from money earmarked for Beeston and then imposed a new tax on those hapless residents seems to have turned. He not only presented a petition with an amazing 2,500 signatures to save the Middle St Resource Centre, which sits on a very valuable piece of building land which Kay Cutts is determined to sell, but spoke well and favourably for its salvation. So eloquently in fact that he drew a round of applause from the opposition benches.

It has been heard whispered how extremely courageous Cllr Kerry has been and others are waiting see what support he has before joining his faction.

Standing up for Beeston

A Beeston reader tells me that I get a positive mention in the local independent paper; "The Beeston Express". I'm glad to stand up for Beeston & Chilwell as none of the Tory County Councillors seem to be doing so.

Their Conservative Councillor Eric Kerry certainly has a problem. Having imposed the home place parking levy and returned £5,000 of money earmarked for Beeston to Kay Cutts, for her spin doctor's rise in salary he now has been asked, by a group of residents to present a petition to full council on Thursday. This is about the Vogon plan to close the Middle St resource centre (the land is worth a fortune; right on the tram route with a stop next door). At first the local MP; Anna Soubry supported Kay Cutts in this closure so did Eric Kerry. Now, as popular opinion swings against this, the MP has done a 180 degree turn and opposes closure (she did exactly the same with the Bramwell care home sell off). What will Eric do, lose chances of promotion within the County or fall out with his other boss? I suggest that he takes a leaf out of the Quidsins book; see here how situations like this are dealt with, Retford fish wife style.

Library staff to go

A highly confidential source tells me that plans are at an advanced stage to reduce the number of full time staff in each library to a maximum of one. The other jobs will be done by volunteers drafted in from the community.

If a library can't get enough volunteers then it closes.

This is all very well for the leafy suburbs such as West Bridgford, Arnold or Beeston where no doubt volunteers will be found from the masses of middle classes with time on their hands. Not so good for places such as Ollerton, Worksop and Retford - but as one senior Tory was heard to mutter - "who cares?"

A Home Fit for a Vogon????

Word on the street is the Vogon wants a new leafy residence in the same way the PM has Chequers. It is being whispered that she wants to take over Newstead Abbey from the City as it sounds a nice place. Unfortunately, as she has never been north of the Trent for fear of meeting a working class person, she does not know it's a ruin and won't be able to move in.

What we think it's about is that she does not want the City to have anything in her patch. How (against officers advice it is said) she can want to take this on (and the costs) while making CUTTS to vital services is yet to be explained.

Snouts in the Trough

Q. How do ex-miners from Ollerton, Blidworth, Mansfield or Worksop get to travel first class?

A. Become a Tory County Councillor or get a top paid job at County Hell or leafy Rushcliffe Borough Council.

See here for details.

Ollerton - thanks but who cares?

Ollerton was the scene of the first conflict in the bitter miners' strike, in the mid 80's when a Yorkshire picket lost his life. The Ollerton miners worked throughout the strike but to show the government's gratitude were dumped less than 10 years later. On the afternoon of Tuesday 20 September 1994 Kay Cutts hero, Margaret Thatcher's dream of shutting the Pit came to reality and 1000 miners were chucked on the dole. Fortunately for them we had a more caring County Council at the time and a major regeneration program created the "Sherwood Energy Village", which brought in 1,500 new jobs on to the derelict site. However, it soon became clear that the road infrastructure would become inadequate and needed improvement if the energy village were to expand or even survive; read here how the County Council were to do this. Unfortunately the Vogons then landed and once the new administration realised that Ollerton was up north, full of ex-miners and not part of leafy Rushcliffe or Broxtowe a U turn was done. The road improvements were cancelled. Now of course the pay off has happened and the Energy Village has gone bankrupt, see here for details.

Of course this will simply be water off a ducks back to the administration at County Hell, just as 1000 miners on the dole was to the Conservative Government in 1994. Neither have the faintest idea, or interest in where Ollerton is.

Top Heavy Council

Following on from my item last week, which followed one of your valuable leaks more detail has become available regarding one of the posts I alluded to below and the story broke here last Thursday and makes the Sunday Telegraph tomorrow, see here for the article.

Please keep the information coming; once you've exited by the back door (unless you are senior enough), from home computers of course.

I understand that I'm still getting under Kay Cutts skin and she may soon be spending another £80,000 in a futile attempt to find me.

Upstairs Downstairs

If you are one of those who actually run the County and make things work in Nottinghamshire and are fortunate enough not be made redundant then you must keep out the way and use the back door at County Hell.

Only elected members, senior officers (see below) and visitors are permitted in the front entrance according to a new directive from the Vogon. I understand that it was to be for Cabinet Members and their guests only as it was thought by some that we really can't have un-bred Labour and Liberal Democrat members making the place look untidy. They might invite all sorts of riff-raff along like trade unionists and working-type people.

However, I'm glad to say that was seen as a Vogon policy too far.

Vogon space ships?

It seems that over the years a number of UFO sightings have taken place in West Bridgford. See here for a summary of recent ones.

There are some who think this may have something to do with recent increased Vogon activity reported at County Hell.

A top heavy Council

Managing 3,000 fewer people is going to be a nightmare for Vogon Cutts, Subsidy junkie Laughton, second hand car dealer Jackson, "I sold Notts County to the highest bidder" Kerry, the Quidsins and others. That's why we not only have 3 extra cabinet positions (with extra allowances) but to help them out 14 senior officer posts on over £100k p.a. instead of the 10 before the Vogons landed.

Who mentioned pigs with snouts and trotters in the trough?

Told you so

Firstly apologies for not posting for a few weeks. I'm still here and still watching.

It really is with regret that I note my predictions and leaks from County Hell have proved to be an underestimate of the true Vogon/second hand car salesman/Masonic proposals. I said here that 531 jobs would have to go for starters to pay for the misguided policies such as Bruce Laughton's anti-bus plug and Richard Jackson's anti-tram strategies. Now it has become clear that was a complete underestimate of costs. The Chilwell second hand car dealer's latest ploy to try to stop the tram will for instance cost another £200,000 with a futile and unnecessary public inquiry whilst Bruce Laughton plans his next move. Another top director is needed on top of all the spin doctors to work out how to implememt all this see here for details.

The top and bottom is that 3000 jobs, including almost the entire permanent Library staff will have to go.

See here for what a complete joke this council has become.

Spain celebrates

Spain wakes up this morning to celebrate as World Cup winners. They also have something else to celebrate; Nottinghamshire County Council are going to help their banking industry.

Last November I revealed how the County planned to sell off their care homes, some of which sit on very valuable building land. In the new year, following a 13,000 petition the Vogon administration announces a 12 month moritorium on the sale. Less than 12 weeks later they placed an advert in the national press for the homes. Now I can announce that the sale should be complete by September and the prferred bidder is the Spanish owned Santander Bank.

Of course, once they've looked up where such places as Chilwell and Worksop are, they may turn out be an excellent provider of care, especially for those with Alzhiemers - or they may just turn out to want to maximise their profits and keep an eye on the day centres which also sit on valuable building plots and will soon be up for grabs.

Spain is laughing all the way to the bank this morning.

More to come

It took time but the story below was eventually published in the Nottingham Evening Post (see here) and is now causing quite a few within County Hell to snigger under their breath and leak nicely.

As we approach the silly season I suggest that Vogons will need to watch their backs and keep an eye on this site.

There's more to come

Welcome to the Parish of **********shire

A directive has now been issued from the Vogon leader that officers must not in future refer to "Greater Nottingham" or "the connurbation".

This would be comical if it weren't so serious.

It appears that in her desperation to have absolutely nothing whatsoever to do with the City of Nottingham, the County leadership are willing to sacrifice our future prosperity. Nottingham is one of the 8 core cities outside London which are seen as the economic drivers of the country. That puts us into direct competition with Manchesater, Birmingham, Newcastle, Leeds, Sheffield and further afield Amsterdam, Barcelona, Cologne and Lyon for investors. Whereas our competitors have unified authorities singing from the same hymn sheet we will now be seen as a tiny fragmented outpost.

In fact it will make us a laughing stock of the European Commercial world.

However, I have put this notice up here as I know this site is visited by most officers of the County and I would like to warn them that if they continue to fight for our regions prosperity and don't want to see the Greater Nottingham connurbation become an unemployment blackspot, then their jobs, like many in the area could be on the line.

As they say on the planet Vogon; "You gets what you votes for"

Cancer Salesman gets Vogon Support

Kay Cutts has offered her support and pleasure at the return of Ken Clarke to government. In a throwback to the 1980s Cutts is said to be proposing that all tory members of council should donne similar dress to that now being worn by Mr Clarke as a mark of respect. This new dress code has been welcomed by Mr and Mrs Quidsin as they were told the cost of the new uniform may be covered by extra expenses.

The former health minister while away from Government has been spending his spare time while being an MP in selling lung Cancer to the third world and a number of lucrative directorships. He is said to be very pleased with himself and his new frock, as the picture clearly shows.

Vogons may need to Carry Wing Mirrors

Following the failure of Bruce (subsidy junkie) Laughton to win the Gedling seat in the general election, (against all the national trends), Vogons may need to start wearing wing mirrors.

If you saw the results on TV Mr Laughton was clearly not happy when he lost the vote. Its widely thought in County Hell politics that he has just been waiting his time. As an alleged rival to Cutts our message to the Vogon leader get some wing mirrors you may need to watch your back, as Brucie may have ambitions?

A lucky win

Cllr Eric Kerry has cause to celebrate. Not only has his football club, although almost bankrupt and saved from the brink, after he sold it to the highest bidder won the championship, but he has collected several thousands of pounds from the bookmakers. Last year when he was a director, he placed a bet on Notts County Football Club to win the championship at 33:1, when no one thought they had a chance. Of course it was fortuitous for him that within days great things happened and they landed Sven Ericsson as manager and the odds immediately shortened. See here for how I reported it at the time.

Now he will enjoy the fruits of his lucky gamble. Perhaps he may even share it with the hapless residents of Beeston who will pay his parking tax without the benefit of his Councillors allowance for good causes. (see here for details)

Well we have seen the county tories what next

This blog is normally a bit cheeky and we had vowed we would keep it down during the election.

However we have been sent a link to this rather moving blog. This for once this shows the real affect of whats going on without our jaundiced eye.

USE YOUR VOTE, but use it wisely!

How to spend a penny (but only if its yours)

A number of corespondents from County Hell have informed that the updated councillors allowances have been published for the year. It seems that just being a councillor is worth £12,900 a year whilst the "Leader" of the council receives an additional £30,000+ allowance. Then of, course, there appears to be lots of "expenses" which can also be claimed, as well as money for sitting of committees or having a cabinet post.

One wit has said the only thing they don't seem to be able to claim for is a visit to the loo!. But they do claim to spend a penny as long as its yours.

No wonder Cllr and Cllr Quigley are now widely known as Mr and Mrs Quidsin.

Calling all developers

I am told that an advert appeared in the Guardian last Thursday for Care homes in Nottinghamshire. The descriptions sounded remarkably like those owned by the County and which Kay Cutts, Bruce Laughton and Mel Shepherd are keen to turn into cash.

If you are interested in picking up a bargain then there will be an event for potential bidders on 29 April 2010. For further details contact Cherry Dunk, Strategic Development Programme Manager at County Hall; cherrydunk@nottscc.gov.uk or phone (0115) 977 3268.

What happened to the 12 months moritorium? Not even 12 weeks.

Of course with the Councillor who thought Munto Finance would be good for Notts County about to get promoted within the vogon administration we can expect some wonders now.

Building in Green Belt

There is much argument about building in the Green Belt throughout the County. Kay Cutts and others declare their ownership of great areas of Notts which undoubtedly would become very valuable if planning permission were granted. However, a general election looms and all plans for these massive developments (especially around Hucknall, Radcliffe and Trowell) have been kept very quiet.

Unfortunately they forgot to brief the national party and one senior Tory accidentally let the cat out the bag:

Stewart Jackson, (I claimed £66,000 expenses for my swimming pool click here) the Shadow Minister for Communities and development proposed at a recent Nottinghamshire Fire Committee meeting that new fire stations be built in Green Belt away from the communities which they serve. At first this was thought of as a very silly money saving exercise (Green belt land is cheap and the old fire station sites could be sold for development) but hearing this and comparing it to documents/email exchanges anonymously released to me show the real reason for establishing the fire stations in the centres of projected communities.

A double whammy for Beeston

Feckless Eric Kerry the ex-director of Notts County who thought Munto finance was a good idea (see here for the fans view of this gentleman) is now showing his skills at ensuring Beeston gets nothing - except a bill.

Not content with imposing a tax on the residents of Beeston Rylands which will raise £10,000 it has now been revealed that he has not bothered to claim over £5000 of grant available for councillors to spend on worthy causes within their divisions. Obviously he doesn't consider the local schools, guides, scouts,community centres, football or cricket clubs etc as worthy of getting this money. He's voluntarily given it back to Kay Cutts to spend on far more useful things such as spin doctors and office refurbishments at County Hall. This should land him in the Vogon's very good books.

Arise Sir Eric - Honorary Knight of the Vogon Empire.

Feckless Eric

Eric Kerry the champion of the "home place parking levy" is said to be fuming about his appearance in the parish newsletter.

However one of his Tory colleagues cant stop laughing apparently, and we have been told is going round telling everyone in county hell how upset poor old "Feckless" Eric is.

All Quiet for the Election? SSSSHHH

More rumours are starting to circulate in County Hell about the next phase of Cutts and service cost increases. However word on the street is that the vogon has had her card marked to keep her head down while the general election looms.

The rumours are that plans are being drawn up for more changes to the library service in areas of the county as yet unaffected, with reduced opening hours in many larger libraries and possible closure of smaller sub-libraries that already have limited opening (to be replaced with the library van one a week I suppose). It is also alleged that large increases in hire costs for the use of public rooms for community groups in council facilities may be proposed, to bring them more in line with commercial charges for conference facilities. ("after all we are a professional commercial council" it has been said.)

We are told this is just the start again, and have more info in hand but any further news from parishioners to help collaborate stories circulating about the next round of Vogon axe wielding would be very useful.

Taxes by another name

There is uproar in Beeston about the proposed parking tax for residents to park outside their own homes. This is causing the local Tory Councillor; Eric Kerry, quite a lot of heartache and earache.

His latest spin to justify this is to say in an email, recently forwarded to me that there has been no increase in the County's proportion of council tax so a £25 charge for parking has had to be made. The resident points out to me that her council tax would have gone up by just £22.64 per annum had Notts County Council put up council taxes by 2.8% - in line with recommendations and other authorities in the area.

So according to and thanks to Councillor Kerry this lady (whose Council tax has gone up anyhow) will now, at a stroke be worse off. That's before any cuts in service are taken into account.

But we will soon have a spin doctor to explain why we should be grateful.

Looking after the pennies

Just when you thought the Vogon controlled County Council had hit the depths for meanness they manage to go a step lower. Not content with closing day centres, selling off homes and slasahing travel concessions to the minimum, the latest attack on the disabled is to charge them to use the scooters provided at Sherwood Forest and Newstead Abbey.

It is estimated that the revenue so raised will provide approximately 3hrs of spin doctors' time per annum (£70K salary) - his second job, after justifying his own appointment will be to explain why this is such a good idea.

Another 119,000 reasons why the care homes must be sold

Kay Cutts considers that the service director or head of Vogon Propoganda (£70,000 per annum) will need careful management. She is therefore about to advertise for "Director of Improvement" and the salary..... A whopping £119,000 per annum. This on the day that carers receive letters telling them that the council can't afford to pay for their bus travel when accompanying their loved ones who are confined to a wheelchair.

Of course the Tory argument is that once the care homes and day centres are shut there will be no need for disabled people to go anywhere anyhow.

Let's hope Cutts, Jackson, Laughton, Shepherd and Co or any of their families never need care, or need to go to a day centre .

Hear no evil

Nearly every council in the UK keep recordings of major debates. This is in addition to the minutes and can be used if there is a dispute over who said what.

Not Nottinghamshire.

To do so would be an extreme embarrassment to such people as Ms Quigley when she ranted and raved over a petition she was forced to present. We must rely on eye-witnesses (see here for a report on Ms Quigley's performance). Recording equipment is banned from the public gallery so no chance of anyone providing evidence from there.

Of course the up-side is that we don't have to suffer Vogon poetry (reputed to be the worst in the universe). The down-side is that councillors can say and behave as they wish knowing it will go no further.

Unless of course someone has sneaked in a recording machine........

If You Could Not Laugh You Would Cry

A Witness to the recent sham debate on the budget Cutts has reported as follows

"I popped along to the Nottinghamshire County Council budget meeting for a couple of hours. The Conservatives found great amusement in the plans to cut funding for mental and physical therapy for mentally and physically disabled children and adults at the Dukeries College in Nottinghamshire, which serves a very large part of the Newark & Sherwood and Bassetlaw constituencies. They all sat and laughed at the idea to withdraw the service."

The View of my corespondent was they could not care less and thought the most serious budget debate in years was a joke.

The names of those who were laughing will appear in due course after I have checekd a few other bits in the confessional about there sham behaviour. I am told a lot of people are very upset with the way they behaved

Few bits of gossip

Well a few bits of gossip have emerged. Firstly the snow artist described in the article below has owned up it was him our the confessional. Obviously I cant say who it is but you would all be very very surprised, we also have a few other juicy bits from this person who clearly has some major issues with Cutts.

The tory paid adviser who was marched out of county hall early this week it is rumoured around the palace of misery that his demise was due to an indiscretion in a Bar in Nottingham at the weekend. (although this is still awaiting confirmation.)

Finally Mel (I flog off care homes) Shepherd, said that they will only sell the homes to well know and established providers in the field. One such firm that could be interested in the homes (Care UK) employs the shaddow health Secretary Andrew Landsley as a consultant, (although there would seem a clear conflict of interest). Is it just a case of look after your own again (in more ways than one!!).

A nice summary of the role of our councillors from todays demo against the CUTTS

While we could write a long item about the demo against the Council Cutts and the role of our councillors held at County hall. I think the photo says more than enough about the councillor responsible for services for the elderly. Cllr Mel Shepherd

Who might think that?

Much excitement at County Hall on Monday morning when staff working in offices overlooking the members' car park, where the sun had not melted Sunday's snow, looked down to see the words 'Kay Cutts is a c**t' scraped in the white stuff. Needless to say she was not amused and apparently CCTV images are being examined to try and find the culprit.

In drawing up a shortlist of suspects she took delivery of BT's entire portfolio of Nottinghamshire telephone books on Wednesday.

Of course there is a strong theory as to who it may be...........(read on)

Vogon Minder shown the door

Callum Heckstall Smith was sent by Conservative Central Office, shortly after the election to "help" Kay Cutts and her team of puppets and to make sure they put forward the right message. He was of course paid for by the chargepayer. Previously he had been dismissed by Parliamentary Candidates Anna Soubry and Bruce (subsidy junkie) Laughton from his paid post as "Broxtowe/Gedling campaign organiser" when they realised he was a councillor and Soubry doesn't employ councillors or other "professionals" (she prefers complete amateurs).

Yesterday (Monday), however, he was shown the door at County Hall, his lap-top confiscated before being escorted off the premises. A source close to the action tells me that he was not happy about Kay Cutts' performance on the Politics Show.

Prime Minister Apologises, Cutts the Vogon should hang her head

Today the Prime Minister of the UK will follow his Australian counterpart and apologise for the appalling treatment of children when they were sent to Australia (including sexual abuse). There is a major exhibition in the palace of Wesminster to highlight this which was first uncovered by a Nottinghamshire Social worker.

The last County Council rightly planted a tree and put up an information board at County Hall. Kay Cutts had this removed immediately she got elected as it "shows Britain in a bad light" See here for the full story.

Self Service Council

Libraries are currently being closed and converted to self-service so that librarians can be made redundant and money saved.

Why stop at Libraries - thinks Cllr Jackson? The latest idea the second hand car salesman has come up with is self service gritting. This morning the No 58 bus to Arnold had to be diverted due to black ice, but I can now report the service is back to normal following gritting of the public highway by Nottingham City Transport. The advise is to carry a bag of grit if you want to use Nottinghamshire roads.

Why stop here? Soon we'll have self service schools (turn up if you want) self service hospitals (do your own operation) and self service courts (I sentence myself to 2 years). Plans are well advanced for self serve care for the elderly.

I understand the one department which will not go self service is Council Tax collection.

Protest on Thursday

We had a dress rehersal in Mansfield (see here) for a protest outside County Hall about the Cutts.

The main protest will be at 10:00am on Thursday 25 Feb at County Hall West Bridgford. This will precede the full council meeting where Kay Cutts expects all her puppets to vote to make the current Nottinghamshire County Council the most unpopular council ever and probably scupper any chances of the Tories taking the two key marginals of Broxtowe and Gedling.

She has asked for a special delivery of the Evening Post as by lunchtime she expects to have finished the morning papers and finds the Mail Sudoko a tad too challenging.

See you on Thursday?

The Listening Council

"But we are listening to everyone......." Kay Cutts 18 Nov 2009

Here's an example of listening - Vogon Style:

An attempt was made to present a petition to Tory Cllr Wendy Quigley (click here for her previous attempt at spin) about the proposed Cutts in spending. Unlike the £1000 per week from various councils in expenses she and her husband, who is also a County Councillor, are allegedly claiming, she refused to accept it. This left the hapless petitioners with no option but to ask a neighbouring County Councillor from another party to take it to County Hall. Once there he immediately ensured it was passed to Ms Quigley who had to reluctantly accept it. Protocol is that it is then presented to full council. I'll now quote a witness:

She ranted and raved about the Labour leader, even whilst she was coming down to present the petition to the Chairman. It was all most undignified. In her best Retford fish wife style, she stood in front of the elected members screeching. Throughout all this her gallant husband rather than ride to the rescue put his head in his hands and left her to her own fate.

Of course during her rant she omitted to explain the subject of the petition. Members called for her to tell the chamber, so all could hear, but she suddenly seemed rather reticent. It was left to the Chairman of the Council to utter the immortal words 'its about Council cuts'!

I understood that by this point the Tory leader Kay Cutts had reached the sports pages in the paper and was considering the crossword.

David Cameron predicts this to be a glimpse of the future in Parliament.

Who Represents North Notts (the Tories in Drag)

Who represents North Notts. Did you realise that if you voted for one of the independent councillors you may as well have voted for Kay Cutts or just not bothered at all. They once again have showed themselves to not be Independent but more or less Kay Cutts in drag.

When the key vote came for the budget at County Hell last week many of the independents walked out and did not vote. So when your services get chopped you know who to blame.

However it has been reported an unmoved Cutts thought the process so laughable she sat reading the paper while all the issues with the Cutts were discussed

Blogs No More NOT QUITE

Well just in case the Blogs described in the previous item have disappeared due to computer problems. A helpful corespondent has said they have most of them saved and stored on their own computer at home.

So if the local Tories ever need to remind themselves about what they said (say for example, about what and excellent idea it is to sell off old folks homes, (especially those in prime sites for potential housing)). Just drop me a line and I may be able to helpfully post it here.

Local Tory Candidate removes blogs

Broxtowe's Tory Candidate; Anna Soubry is on record as supporting Kay Cutts and the Conservative County Council's regime of cuts. This includes the unpopular sale of a care home within her area. Like most candidates she was not afraid to stand by her statements and put them up on her web-site, archived so that we could all see her policies.

However, all this has now changed. She has now removed the archives no doubt embarrased by what she said and wishing to distance herself from the County Council regime. Ms Soubry now realises that Kay Cutts, Second hand car dealer Jackson and subsidy junkie Laughton really are causing her party such huge embarrasment and are reducing any chance of Conservative gains in Broxtowe (Or Gedling or anywhere else for that matter) to virtually nil.

Will Ms Soubry now make a statement opposing the Vogon Cutts?

So its Not Just in Notts

The Bonkers Nature of tory councils is not just confined to Cutts and her self serving band of puppets.

The longstanding Tory leader (and farmer) of Essex council council (Lord Hanningfield), resigned yesterday having been caught up in the expenses scandal in parliament. It seem he was charging expenses for costly hotel rooms when in at the House of Lords on Tory front bench duty (as well as running Essex council) but was in fact going home.

Perhaps this was one perk of the job too far.

13,001 reasons not to vote Conservative

"If you want to know what a Conservative Government will be like just look at our Conservative Councils".

David Cameron, Conservative Party Conference 2009

A massive 13,000 signature petition, believed to be the biggest ever presented to the County Council on a single issue, was delivered to Kay Cutts. It was requesting the Conservative administration reconsider the sale of the 13 residential homes in the County. This huge display of public concern triggered a motion at full council to reverse this Vogon policy which was "debated" on Thursday. The opposition parties made strong representations and presented a case for the motion. Kay Cutts would have none of this, treating the Council, democracy and the electorate with complete and utter contempt.

She simply sat there, ignored it all reading the Nottingham Evening Post in the chamber when she should have been defending her policy.

Was this because she knew her arguments are indefensible and after all she had previously told her puppets how to vote, so why should she care?

David Cameron has, for once spoken the truth.

Gedling Tories realise they were conned

Before the election a promise made by Kay Cutts and her puppet the second hand car dealer Richard Jackson was to remove the Gedling bus plug. Subsidie Junkie Bruce Laughton staked his reputation on it. It later transpired that this, like the promise to scrap the tram and provide an additional £12m of bus subsidy was undeliverable (see here for story). But never mind it won them the election.

Now the Burton Joyce Conservative voters are begining to realise just how much they were conned. Dick Huskinson writes a very clear and concise letter to the Evening Post see here.

Bruce Laughton may well find that the saying in the motor trade and Jackson's catch phrase "there's one born every minute" may not ring true when he stands for Parliament in May.

Mission Impossible for the guru of spin?

Mark Fletcher-Brown has a track record of being an excellent 'reputation management guru', "worth his weight in gold" according to one council chief. He certainly does not come cheap, commanding fees of up to £850 per day.

However, he will have to go into overdrive for this mission. Kay Cutts will reward him with up to £50,000 of chargepayers money if he can handle the media and explain why her policies of cutting help to the elderly and vulnerable are in the best interests of the voters.

When he inevitably visits this site, noting the hit counter on the left, (from home unless he wants his details automatically relaid to the planet Vogon) he may like to click here to see what a massive uphill task he has landed himself.

Will we soon see the benefit? Time will tell. There is however one thing for sure - We're all going to pay for it.

Mansfield electorate sold a Booby

Last June the electorate in Mansfield proudly elected Victor Bobo as an Independent who stood on a platform of "People Before Politics". Of course he's maintained that slogan - he is a person and he's put himself first. Following an abysmal attendance record the Independents threw him out of their forum. Of course it wasn't long before Kay Cutts recognised talent and a man who was prepared to stand by her principles and so, offering him a paid position on the fire authority which he was glad to accept, he is now a member of the Conservative group.

Is the Vogon ship on the way down?

Signs are that the relentless pressure from this site, the public and the County MPs is starting to have an effect on those around Ms Cutts. Martin Suthers, the member for Bingham let it slip in Cabinet today that "They need to have greater confidence in their Chief Officers to advise".

Perhaps he's been spending too much time reading these pages for Ms Cutts liking - or listening to his staff or even (contrary to Vogon policy) his constituents.

Why Kay Cutts could never be an MP

Kay Cutts met with a number of MPs on Friday to discuss her proposed Cutts which are aimed at the elderly and vulnerable but ensure that the well landed are cared for.

Clearly she did get a lot of lobbying and dismissed it by saying "I know that MPs have to lobby on behalf of their constituents,"

This begs the question - On whose behalf does she work?

Tory Bassetlaw goes Vogon

"If you want to know what a Conservative Government will be like just look at our Conservative Councils".

David Cameron, Conservative Party Conference 2009

Under the leadership of Conservative County Councillor Mike Quigley and assisted by his his fellow Tory County Councillor Liz Yates ("I live 16 miles away but have my heart in Worksop"), the Bassetlaw District Council Development Control committee have rejected several million pounds worth of much needed inward investment into Worksop town centre. In fact all seven Tories voted against a prestigious hotel development which would have saved the town's football club and generated a sustainable 686 jobs in this ex-coal mining locality. The professional officers recommended approval and all members from other parties voted for the scheme. A perceived problem appears to be that it would involve an ASDA which would directly compete with the out of town Tesco development on land recently sold by a variety of people including the council.

Of course the developer has the right of appeal, and I understand may - although he would rather spend his money in a more forward thinking Borough and County.

It has been pointed out that none of the Conservative Councillors live in Worksop. The local MP has now described Bassetlaw as "truly the worst council in the country"

Perhaps he should visit this site.

David Cameron is "not amused" by Cutts

A source within the County Council tells me that David Cameron either has or is expected to soon get in touch with Cllr Cutts to "express his displeasure" at the damage she is clearly inflicting on the Conservative Party and their chances of winning at least two target seats in Nottinghamshire. I understand that areas of particular concern are where Vogon Tory policy differs from UK Tory policy and he sees the proposed cuts and increases in councillors expenses as providing the opposition with an "open goal".

My source in Westminster confirms this is the case. He has heard several whispers around the corridors that relationships between Conservative Central Office and Nottinghamshire are reaching an all time low. David Cameron is particularly embarrased as he said at conference "If you want to know what a Conservative Government will be like just look at our Conservative Councils". For once a Tory politician was speaking the truth!

I understand that Ms Cutts has called a meeting of all Nottinghamshire MPs next Friday. The two County Conservative MPs will not be attending.

Tory administration gives up on election pledges

Two of the pledges made by Kay Cutts and her team of puppets before the election were to scrap the tram (to please Cllr Jackson) and to scrap the Gedling bus plug (to please subsidy junkie, Laughton). Immediately after the election they found that they couldn't scrap the tram and went back on that pledge. I revealed here how it would cost £7.5m to remove the Gedling bus plug and I understand that as Bruce Laughton has staked his reputation on this promise and is standing to be an MP; Kay Cutts was still willing to do whatever had to be done to fund this. She even stood by the decision when a high profile visit by a cabinet minister bearing £17m in funding was cancelled at the last minute (see here for story). However, she has now had to admit defeat. The Evening Post announced today that the bus plug will stay.

This rather shows how hollow Tory promises and especially those made by the subsidy junkie Bruce Laughton and the second hand car salesman Jackson really are. The people who voted for Laughton on the strength of this pledge must now be as hopping mad as those who voted for Kerry and Jackson in Chilwell.

An area not Cutt

Every year streams, ditches and gulleys block, roads and gardens flood and occasionally the odd home. Last year the Borough councils took over responsibility for gulleys on public land thus relieving the County of a large burden. As the ditches on private farmland are the responsibility of the farmers, one would expect a cut in this budget as well.

However, you'd be wrong:

The County Council spearheaded by Country Landowners Association member, Kay Cutts and Farmer, Bruce (the subsidy junkie) Laughton have in fact decided to increase the gulley and drain clearing budget by "a significant amount" this year.

We have been told that so far most of the work undertaken has involved clearing privately owned ditches and channels in rural areas?.

Happy new year from the Vogon

On the BBC web site they have kindly put up a little application that allows everyone to enjoy Kay Cutts prime hobby, POETRY (see here).

For the reason Kay Cutts may be a Vogon see here